Starting to Paint

Once again, it's summer, and it's starting to seem that this is the time I pursue my true passions. Is it too late for a fine arts degree or is that my fickle Gemini self talking?

Painting is intimidating, at least when trying to do it for the first time. I suppose like figure drawing, entering a room full of artists, to attack something new in what seems to be a professional atmosphere is intimidating. There are tools...all kinds of tools. And entering an art supply store as an amateur, looking at the aisles upon aisles of paints and brushes and pallet knives with just a printed list of supplies...that's intimidating! There is the constant fear of being found out as nothing more than a wannabe, a fake, pretend artist, who has no right to be here. If entering a painting and drawing class is intimidating for me, someone who has at least spent most of my growing up drawing and doodling on notebooks, I can't even imagine how intimidating it must feel for someone who has never drawn. It can be so simple, yet feel so unattainable.

Painting, even for a drawer, feels like diving into the abyss. All you need is a pencil and paper to draw, and you can always have the joy of erasing. But putting paint down on white paper...wow, it's not too different from using charcoal the first time. That damn black stuff just won't come off, and you're doomed with whatever monstrosity you put down.

But diving into the abyss is thrilling!

I took an acrylic painting class a few months ago. It helped that it was just a fun evening class with other professionals who are just taking the class to relax and are not trying to make a career out of it. The teacher got us started right away with using the full range of colors and told us how to mix different colors right away without having us use too much time experimenting. We painted mostly from pictures of simple landscapes. The other students felt as foolish as I did, and it felt more like a support group, or maybe art therapy with paints! The point is, it got me started laying paint to canvas. And while I ended up with more than a few awful paintings, I learned to use a brush and apply paint. I discovered how different brush strokes might look and how colors can blend on the canvas. It made me brave.

Now here I am in an oil painting class that is for art majors during regular school, but open to everyone during summer. Putting the fear behind me, I remind myself that this is just for fun, for practice, and that no one will judge me, nothing is riding on my success, that I just have to put paint onto canvas, and be free.